Your advice to 40-year-olds: #5 You are who you meet

In the 2025 National Seniors Social Survey we asked you what advice you’d give to people in their 40s to prepare for a possible time when they can no longer live independently.  

This series of Connect articles showcases the top 8 pieces of advice from our 2965 survey respondents.

Your top 4 pieces of advice all dealt with very practical matters – enough money, sound health, appropriate housing, and quality care services. 

All of them are important to keep our bodies alive and safe from harm. 

The fifth piece of advice, based on 273 of your comments, reorients our focus towards ensuring people stay emotionally secure as they age. 

For the most part it is very straightforward: create and maintain positive, supportive social connections that will last. 

But it too has some nuances. 

Socialise for your own sanity 

Having an active social life in general was emphasised in many of your comments. 

A major reason you gave for this is to stave off loneliness. One of you put it this way: “I see people who are lonely because no-one visits them so the people in your life are the most important thing.” 

Many of you simply listed socialising alongside other advice known to promote healthy ageing, such as eating well and getting regular exercise. 

And for some of you, interacting with great people is the key ingredient to a good life, as with this comment: “Think positively and surround yourself with people who are interested in life, learning and their fellow human beings.” 

A few commenters had practical tips for meeting people if it doesn’t come naturally, such as joining a group or club or playing a social sport. One of you wrote, “I am an introvert so I walk my dog with like-minded people who have become friends. That way I have social interaction each day without having to visit back and forth.” 

A handful made more philosophical recommendations associated with positive social interactions, including, “Be curious about people and the world / develop skill to contribute to others”, “be kind and considerate”, and “don't meddle in other peoples affairs!” 

Family and friends rate first 

When we burrow down into the specifics of who people in their 40s should keep connected with, 120 of you mentioned family and 90 mentioned friends. Sixty mentioned both. 

You offered two main reasons for maintaining good relationships with family and friends: to avoid isolation and loneliness, and to ensure a support network is available to meet needs as they arise.  

Comments included: 

“value family relationships and build up a circle of good friends” 

“Have a friend or family member you can rely on preferably younger than you in good health, close by, who will be a help or you can trust” 

“Keep good family relationships or you will end up old, bitter and lonely.” 

“Keep a good circle of friends and make sure you assist them when possible.” 

“Cultivate strong relationships with family, friends, and community members. A strong social network can ease the transition into receiving support later in life.” 

Exploring shared living arrangements was a part of this picture, especially regarding adult children. Around 25 of you advised people in their 40s to find a place to live that was near family or friends. 

Some of you, joking or otherwise, advised them to be good to their family for their own self-interest, with comments like, “Keep the kids on side”, “Have plenty of grandchildren so they can look after you”, and “Be nice to your children as they will have a say in what happens with you.”  

However, some of you warned people in their 40s against leaning too heavily on family. As one of you said, “Don’t be a burden to your children”, and as another said, “DO NOT rely on family.”