When ageism is excluding ourselves
Our research shows you may be stopping yourself from taking part in joyful activities because you feel you’re too old, but this mindset can be changed and there are support systems to help.
By the National Seniors Research team.
Ageism can present in many different forms, from discrimination in job interviews and invisibility in clothing stores to assumptions about older people’s digital skills.
It can also affect us internally. If you’ve ever said, “I’m too old for this”, is it a true statement or is it simply internalised ageism at work?
In 2024, we asked National Seniors Social Survey respondents if there were any activities that they would like to try but had chosen not to because they were self-conscious about their age.
In total, 2,600 people answered the question with about a third (839) saying that they had excluded themselves from some activities for this or a similar reason.
Physical activities dominated the list. More than 580 commenters mentioned they would like to continue or learn physical activities but stopped themselves from doing so.
The activities specified were incredibly diverse. They ranged from common forms of exercise (e.g., walking, swimming, yoga, gym) to the highly athletic (e.g., rugby, BMX, abseiling, pole dancing), and a whole lot more in between.
For many, the problem was physical limitations—they felt they no longer had the strength, flexibility, mobility, or fitness to do these activities. Some were worried about the consequences of injuring themselves at an older age.
But self-consciousness about age wasn’t just related to a decline in abilities.
Poor body image was another factor that affected some people, especially women, and often pertaining to swimming activities.
Comments included:
“I don’t go swimming anymore because I’m self-conscious about my sagging, creepy skin!”
“Swimming, because of my weight at my age.” “I never allow anyone to see me in swimming togs. I am too embarrassed of my old body.”
“I never allow anyone to see me in swimming togs. I am too embarrassed of my old body.”
“I would like to start swimming again but with the [osteoarthritis], a left-side mastectomy, scarring, and exceptionally dry skin, I feel self-conscious.”
A few people were hesitant to start new activities because they anticipated feeling embarrassed in other ways:
“I might not be dressed suitably at a gym or would look stupid not knowing how to use the equipment.”
“Yoga. The thought of being unable to get up off the floor without difficulty stops me. I don’t need to embarrass myself.”
Some had already experienced ageist attitudes from other people when exercising, putting them off:
“I used to go to the gym but gave it away after hearing comments, ‘about time he acted his age’, etc.”
“I wanted to join gym but when [my] age was asked, I thought it might not be for me.”
“I love to swim and try to, but I have had some people make fun of me.”
“No, but I recently started a Pilates class and am well able to do the exercises with others in the class, but the teacher repeatedly offers easier options (which I don't need) only to me. This makes me self-conscious.”
No wonder many older people feel intimidated exercising with younger people. Some examples are:
“Going to some gyms which are full of fit, young people.”
“Pilates. There are not enough exercise options for older people. It is probably silly, but I really feel self-conscious exercising with younger, fitter people.”
“Climbing at an indoor rock wall centre—I would love a ‘closed’ session for older people! I took my grandkids and it looked so much fun.”
“I would like to drive a V8 supercar but I don’t think I would be allowed—being classed as a silly, old woman.”
About 250 commenters specified other kinds of activities they did not pursue because of age self-consciousness.
Again, some of this was related to physical limitations such as travel that involved challenging activities or social events stymied by hearing loss:
“Travel—I feel I would slow groups down too much due to my slower walking and the fact I do not like walking long distances or climbing stairs, etc.”
“Going to Antarctica. I’m not fit enough to be able to move from a ship into one of those floaty rubber things.”
“I’m now finding going out to dinner with friends less enjoyable because of difficulties with hearing conversations.”
But others expressed fears about encountering ageist attitudes, or a general self-consciousness about what people might think. This applied to a wide variety of activities respondents would have liked to take on, for example:
“I would like to drive a V8 supercar but I don’t think I would be allowed— being classed as a silly, old woman.”
“I decided not to attend The Chemical Brothers concert feeling I would be out of place.”
“Going to dance parties (raves), to some nightclubs, pubs, and other similar venues as I might be the oldest person there and I'd feel self-conscious.”
“Study medicine because everyone else who attended the open day was much younger. I thought I was far less likely to be taken seriously or selected.”
“Maybe some business ventures that require a YouTube or Instagram presence.”
“Age but also as a married woman living on my own whilst having a living partner in residential care. It’s very hard to go out into the world on your own, even for an evening meal.”
Happily, some respondents also wrote about finding solutions to their problems:
“I didn't like going to gyms because of the feeling I got from young people [about me] not moving fast enough. I have finally found a good one where I am accepted by all age groups.”
“These days there is so much one can do online or on YouTube. Learn to tap dance, learn a language, to play a musical instrument, etc., in the home—no need to be self-conscious.”
“About three years ago, I took up ballet—[something] I hadn’t done since I was 10 years old. It’s a class for seniors but is taken seriously. And a lot of fun.”
For more information on this survey topic or to read any of our recent research reports about ageism, go to nationalseniors.com.au/research/reports. Read how one of our own team members overcame ageism, and other insecurities, to join a gym here Weightlifting for all bodies - National Seniors Australia (member only content).
This article is featured in National Seniors Australia’s quarterly member magazine, Our Generation.
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